Notes

Outline

PROOFREADING WORKSHOP Brought to you by the Fairfax Campus Writing Center of George Mason University

Vocabulary Primer Revising Making “big” changes like content, thesis, organization Editing Can be revision, but also includes “smaller” issues like grammar Line Editing Only the “small stuff” like grammar Proofreading Making final changes, usually on the “small” issues

"DIFFERENTIATE" DIFFERENTIATE between HIGHER ORDER and LOWER ORDER CONCERNS

HIGHER ORDER CONCERNS Focus Organization Transitions Content Engaging the Audience Tone

LOWER ORDER CONCERNS Sentences Get rid of excess words Vary lengths of sentences Punctuation Commas, semicolons, quotation marks Parts of Speech Pronouns and their referents Subject-verb agreement Verb tenses

WHAT DO I FIX?? Start with errors that interfere with meaning For example: I was to full to eat any more of my dinner. You can still understand the meaning of this sentence, even if the “to” should be spelled “too” We are having difficulty with math lessons. It is confusing. The “It” in the second sentence is confusing in meaning – is the author referring to the math lesson or the situation of several people having difficulty with a lesson?

How do I know if my errors interfere with meaning? Trust your instincts Have a friend read your work Read for lack of clarity RATHER than line-editing

HOW DO I FIX MY ERRORS?? USE STRATEGIES!!!

General Strategy One Keep a log and take notes of lower-order concerns pointed out by Professors Tutors Peers THEN…

General Strategy One, Cont. Prioritize these errors By level of interference with meaning By frequency of occurrence Tape this prioritized list to your computer monitor! Using this list, start with the first error and go through your paper looking for examples of that one error.  Then, choose the second error on your list and read over your paper looking for examples of that error. And so on. Make sure not to hypercorrect!

General Strategy Two Read your paper aloud slowly, one word at a time, to yourself or a friend Read “backwards” - not literally backwards, but reading one sentence at a time from the end of your paper to the beginning This will help focus on the sentences themselves rather than the flow of the paper’s content

Strategies for Working on Sentences Read your paper backwards one sentence at a time Double-underline the subject, underline the verb Make sure each subject has a verb – try drawing an arrow from the verb to its subject

Four Errors Covered in This Presentation Parallel Structure Subject-Verb Agreement Comma Use Subordination/Dependent Clauses

Parallel Structure Parallel Structure applies to the following: Lists Pairs, Contrasts, Comparisons Every item in a list, pair, or comparison should appear in the same grammatical form All items should be verbs, adjectives, or nouns If all are verbs, they should all be in –ing,  infinitive, or plain verb form

Examples of Parallel Structure Wrong: The symptoms of smoking include difficulty in breathing, high blood pressure,  stained teeth, and you feel tired all the time. Right:  The symptoms of smoking include difficulty in breathing, high blood pressure, stained teeth, and fatigue. (All nouns) Wrong:  The government is reducing taxes and increases expenses at the same time. Right:    The government is reducing taxes and increasing expenses at the same time.

Subject-Verb Agreement There are many types of sentences where these errors can occur. For now, we will focus on clauses with conjunctions “who, which, that”

Subject-Verb Agreement The noun that the word who, which or that refers to is called the “antecedent” In clauses beginning with the conjunctions who, which, or that, the verb agrees with the antecedent: The student who wins first place will receive a scholarship.  (“who wins first place” = clause; who = conjunction; student = antecedent) The students who win first place will receive a scholarship.  (“who win first place” = clause; who = conjunction; students = antecedent)

STRATEGIES for Subject-Verb Agreement Remember underlining subjects and verbs? For finding the subject: don’t be distracted by words and phrases that come between the subject and the verb THEN, make the verb agree with the subject even when the subject follows the verb

Examples of Finding the Correct Subject Don’t be distracted by words that come between the subject and the verb: The killing of tigers for their skins is not to be tolerated. John is the only one of his sons who is successful. Don’t be confused by subjects that come after the verb: There is a fly in my soup. In the house were a wood burning stove and an old icebox.

Steps in the Lesson on Comma Errors Independent versus Dependent clauses Coordinating Conjunctions Restrictive versus Nonrestrictive clauses Subordination

Clause Types Independent Clause: A complete sentence Subject - Verb – (Object) “I ran.” or “I am.” are examples of complete sentences – you don’t need to say “I ran home.” or “I am happy.” to have a complete sentence Dependent Clause Phrase – an Incomplete sentence “because I was late” “when I left for the store” “which is more expensive”

Coordinating Conjunctions Coordinating Conjunctions can be remembered by the acronym “FANBOYS” (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so) Here’s the rule for commas and coordinating conjunctions: TWO independent clauses + a coordinating conjunction = a comma before the coordinating conjunction

Example of a Sentence using Coordinating Conjunction “I ran to the airport and jumped on a plane to Hawaii.” does NOT need a comma because: “I ran to the airport” is an independent clause, and “and” is a coordinating conjunction, but “jumped on a plane to Hawaii” is not an independent clause because it lacks a subject “I ran to the airport, and I jumped on a plane to Hawaii.” is a sentence with two independent clauses joined by a coordinating conjunction, which therefore requires the use of a comma before the coordinating conjunction

Restrictive versus Nonrestrictive Clauses Restrictive = essential to the sentence, therefore, no comma Nonrestrictive = not essential to the sentence, therefore, use a comma

Examples of Restrictive and Nonrestrictive Clauses WRONG: Americans, who do not speak French, will be lost in Paris. RIGHT: Americans who do not speak French will be lost in Paris. The first sentence, by placing the clause within commas, indicates to the reader that it is nonrestrictive to the meaning of the sentence.  In other words, it is commonly understood that not a single Americans can speak French – which you know is not true! THEREFORE, “who do not speak French” should NOT be placed within commas because it is essential to the meaning of the sentence – it restricts the meaning of the sentence.

Subordination This has to do with varying sentence length Decide what is the most important point in your sentence and what is the lesser point Then, make sure you signal the lesser point using commas, semicolons, and conjunctions correctly

Examples of Subordination Notice how the following sentences are combined into more complex sentences.  In both examples, notice that the main point is underlined – never lose sight of that main point as you’re combining sentences. The blue whale is considered the largest animal that has ever lived. It can grow to 100 feet and 150 tons. The blue whale, which can grow to 100 feet and 150 tons, is considered the largest animal that has ever lived. Chihuahua is divided into two regions.  It is the largest Mexican state.  One region is a mountainous area in the west.  The other region is a desert basin in the north and east. Chihuahua, the largest Mexican state, is divided into two regions, a mountainous area in the west and a desert basin in the north and east.

Strategies for Comma Use Remember the strategy of reading your paper backwards sentence by sentence? This time, highlight any transitional phrases and coordinating conjunctions as you read.  See if you made proper use of commas for these phrases and conjunctions.

Strategies for Commas and Sentence Length Read your paper out loud At the end of each sentence, make a slash mark Are your sentences very long?  Very short? Combine shorter sentences into longer ones Use correct linking words, conjunctions, punctuation Break up longer sentences if necessary, especially for clarity

Other Errors Remember there are other types of errors you can proofread for: Other Punctuation (like colons and quotations marks) Verb Tenses Active versus Passive Voice

Conclusion Remember to: Decide to read for higher order OR lower order concerns – don’t do both at once Proofread for ONE error at a time Always go first for errors that interfere with meaning Use your strategies!! Go to our web site for more help and handouts: http://writingcenter.gmu.edu/